Scale of Exhaustion

1 let me keep sleeping
2 let me keep sleeping, you sadists!
3 would you mind if I crawled under your chair and had a little nap?
4 eyes secreting chloroform, keeping eyes open torture. unreasonable.
5 i am a rocketship, wheeee!

Today: about 2. Proving my theory that no work place should open until 12pm. Its just not right.

Dirty, Smelly, Hairy

My evil sibling, who personifies Hell, was already in the shower at 8:30 (when I got up) and still there at 9:25 (when I left for work).
Today, I am dirty, smelly and hairy. I may be fired. My boss (more on her later) will be unimpressed.
That is, mimimum, a 55 minute shower! Not, 'oh, my sister might need this bathroom, better have only a half hour shower today.' Not, 'oh, maybe I should shower in the evenings if I want to have a shower that lasts longer than an ice age' not 'oh, I live in South Australia, where some places haven't seen rain since the reign of George V, better only have a 10 minute shower like normal people, or a bath'. No, its got to be a 55 minute shower.
Skank.

Everyone has a blog these days.

One upon a time, I had my own website. This was in the mid 90's. Back then, only one other person I knew had a blog, and she is now studying computer science. I felt like a celebrity. So many people left comments on my guestbooks. Most of them were girls from my school I had said nasty things about, sending me abuse (I made a special page for it). And I wrote the whole thing in HTML. Now if anyone mentioned HTML, I'd wonder if it was an early 90's boy band! People from all over the world left nonymous and anonymous comments, which was just so cool! I even ended up chatting on the phone to a nice young man from Stoke on Trent who wanted to marry me for my Australian visa. I now think I should have done it, then I would be able to go live in England, which is my spiritual home apart from Melbourne. You don't have to have actually been to your spiritual home do you?
But all this was destroyed, some time early in University, when I just lost interest or decided having a website wasn't cool anymore. And forgot all about code.
Now, five years later, I have a website again. Its not as good as the old one. It doesn't have a proper guestbook, only a comments page, which is not the same. And it doesn't allow anonymous comments, which were always the most fun. And I haven't hand crafted every beautiful "a href=" of it :( But I like it anyway. Writing in a blog is weirdly easier than writing in a diary. It seems to be less personal, which is I suppose because the whole world could see it if they only cared to look.
But they don't, because everyone has a blog these days.

Go To Next Blog

No, Don't. Its by some sort of wierd christian girl. Don't confuse her with that wierd Christiansen girl. I don't understand how anybody can seriously believe in a deity. I appreciate the role of religious figures (Bhudda, Mohammed etc) as philosophers, sharing their interpretations and insights. I understand religious texts and stories can be interesting as cultural artifacts. But what's with the idea that life on earth is somehow controlled by some sort of omniscient, omnipotent being? An entity no one has ever recorded, observed using a particle accelerator, seen, heard, photographed or in any other way quantified. Sorry, I don't think "belief" or "faith" is a convincing argument. See my post on LSD. If I believe I am a food item, does that mean I really am one?

Bombay Bicycle Bigpond Service Centre Telephone Call

Me: My internet's not working. I'm bored.
Indian Bloke: Have you looked at the modem?
Me: Um, what does it look like?
Indian Bloke: It looks like a Spacealien.
Me: I think it looks more like a stingray.
Indian Bloke: Whatever, is it plugged in?
Me: I don't know.

gore

Thanks to my delightful guitar-aware plastic surgeon, the nerves in the Finger of Death have been re-attached. Now my finger is sort of working again. It seems to be dead, yet it is animate i.e. it is a zombie finger. It even looks like a little zombie with its dried blood and and black stitches. I have taken some pictures of it, but my ancient computer and new digital camera have a poor relationship, so I can't show anyone. Sorry.

The Blog with no Hits

Its lonesome in here, in the old red book store,
Where people come in, and dirty the floor,
I write in my blog,
And I get really bored,
Its so lonesome in here, I'll be posting no more.
-Slim Dusty.
Note to self: Add slim dusty and eric bogle to list of favourite musicians. Kill self.

Don't buy drugs, become a rock star and people will give you them

My latest insomniac adventure. I was lying in bed last night, knowing I had to get up for work in the morning. I was contemplating 70's drug parties. My mum tells me she went to crazy debauched parties on yachts and things and never drank or 'drugged' as she put it. I asked her why not? Lots of intelligent, creative people like to add to their experiences with chemicals.. I don't have that many psychadelic adventures, but only because a)I'm usually broke and b)I'm not a rock star yet. But anyway. She told me that one of her friends had a bad trip. This friend decided she was a pizza, and freaked out because she thought people were trying to eat her. Someone else decided they were a lemon, and they freaked out because they thought they would get squeezed to death. So instead, they jumped out of a window... maybe its a good idea to keep your windows locked in case you accidently take LSD and believe you are a food item.
I just know this would happen to me. I am so obsessed with food. As Winnie the Pooh said, "the most pleasant thing to do after lunch is to lie down and dream of dinner". So anyway, this was a funny contemplation, and I still couldn't sleep. So I turned on my computer and went to look at ebay. Silly.
$30, thats pretty good for a violin... sort of. As the chief executive of Lark explained to the Sydney Morning Herald:

"China is developing, and to make a sophisticated product like a good violin is still hard for us," says Zhou Youjian, chief executive of Shanghai Lark Golden Bell Music Instruments. "But it's easy to make something that looks like a violin, especially with labour so cheap," he says, pottering about in a whitewashed, sawdust-sprinkled workshop on the outskirts of Shanghai.
"Strings attached for the new fiddle factories" SMH August 25, 2005

I thought "buggered if I'm paying $30 for something that looks like a violin but" so, being both cheap and cowardly, I cancelled the bid, making KSTA8889 a happy person, until he or she gets his or her crappy violin-shaped item.