The Darkest Material on Earth.

Milwaukee's goth scene will never die!

US researchers say they have made the darkest material on Earth, a substance so black it absorbs more than 99.9 per cent of light. It's made, not from the tears of Robert Smith (that's goth juice hairspray) but from upright carbon fibres. The makers of the darkest material on earth are going to be ZILLIONAIRES!
Why?
Because emos the world over won't be able to get enough of it.
They can make clothes, hair dye, ugly platform boots with inexplicable, non-functional buckles. No goth or emo will be considered cool without The Darkest Material on Earth.
They can make vinyl bags, body piercings, guitars, outfits for Vince Noir.
A word of warning, though. According to the latest issue of Cheekbone, just delivered to me by ninja, it's already out of style.