10 signs you had a big night last night.

1. You have mysterious cuts and bruises that appear to have come from that spiky bush you decided to wee in.
2. There are more empties on the floor of the car than there is carpet.
3. You think you might have used the phrase 'I love you maaaan' more than is usually appropriate.
4. You only have one shoe.
5. Your mouth feels like something died in it, possibly a spring lamb or two.
6. You can't form a sentence. For three days.
7. You're voice is hoarse from singing along to November Rain, Sweet Child of Mine and Paradise City at least four times each.
8. One of your mates is still asleep on the lawn, snoring like an animal giving birth to a chair.
9. There are at least 10 half-remembered incidents that need to be put in order like a surrealist jigsaw involving wineries, sheep, pub-dwelling bogans and hot dudes with maori tattoos.
10. There's a wizened, toothless she-drunk with bad hair in your bed. You freak out until you realise you're looking in a mirror. Then freak out again.