moog moog moog moog moog

"Hi! We are Blaxtyn (bright orange) and Ky-Leesha (the not so bright one). Our four kids are Shardonnai, Shay'deen, Sharlot and X (the fish formerly known as Prince). Please feed us, but not too much"

This is the sign on the new fishtank I bought for our office. My office sharing pal Catherine and I challenged our minds to the extreme to think of the trashiest names in the universe. This is the brilliant brain fruit of our imaginations. I don't know why we didn't get awarded an honorary doctorate just for thinking of them.

Blaxtyn and Ky-Lee are rosy barbs and they are such a couple (story of my life!) They take turns blindly following each other around the tank. Every so often, they have a lovers' tiff and swim to opposite sides of the tank (but not very often). Mostly, they just graze off the pebbles at the bottom, finding exciting bits of slime and old fish food.

The other four are boring fish. They just sit around and stare at us. I wonder if they would like to eat us if they grew big enough. The not so fab four are only interesting when I put fish food in. Then they dart around like mini-pirhanas, attacking each other ovetastyivious offal flavoured fish flakes.

The fish themselves are looking pretty excited at the moment. They seem to like Moog music. They seem to prefer it to Radiohead. This is all because I’ve discovered that the paranoid super-security computers at the university allow me to listen to JJJ podcasts. First I listened to the Radiohead J files (of course) and I’ve just spend the last half hour or so learning about the history of the Moog.

I have always wanted a Moog. Not just any synth, it has to be a moog one just because the word Moog is so cool. Moog moog moog moog. If I had a moog, it would cause big problems in my imaginary band because I would want to be both the moody moog player and the highly talented, perfectionist, lead guitarist. Maybe I can be like one of those drunken old carnival men who play six instruments at a time. I would have to invest in a pole covered in beer lids and learn how to play Slim Dusty on a gum leaf.