Happy Cheerful Retail Borg

Yippeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its my last day at the bookshop. I would like to commemorate the experience by remembering-

The charming customers who....

• Believe I am somehow interested in helping them find books.
• Spy on me, then tell the boss I had the music too loud (Crank up Ludwig Van, MAAN!!)
• Or that I eat tins of tuna at the front desk. Because I don't get a lunch hour, knobs.
• Get really angry about a stick/snake in a picture of an otherwise perfect sand dune, and believe this is a good reason to return the book and yell at me.
• Think I am a career shop assistant, and that there is something wrong with that.
• Are never as attractive as Joel in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and who never call me Clementine, or make jokes about Huckleberry Hound.
• Call me Miss. Thats Ms to you. In fact I prefer Excuse Me.

And my Extra charming EX boss who...

• Believes that music consists of Handel, Beethoven, Mozart and friends, and other totally cheesy composers. Is unimpressed by all innovative or 20th century composers.
• Believes that lunch hours are for pussys.
• Writes me big lists of mistakes I made the previous day.
• Answers the phone with "you made a big mistake yesterday.." Like, hello to you to!
• Thinks I am the most dim and incompetent person in the whole work force. Yes, I make mistakes. Because I am a) still wasted from the party last night and b) don't give a flying fuck anyway.
• Thinks I'm going to be a "smile on the dial" smirking happy retail borg when she is constantly rude to me. Nup. See previous dot point.
• Refers to the erotica books as ''filth", when most of them are really artistic and cool.
• Is really, really rude to everyone except old rich people. Way to go in retail dude!
• Tells me to do shop jobs before surfing the internet. I would run on the road naked tearing up bits of the books and throwing the pieces into the air if I did that, because the work's so boring my mind would snap.
• Thinks its ok to tell me on Saturday that I'm working on Monday.
• Thinks its ok to pay me completely at random, never, never on the same day of the week.

Yay for not being a bookslave any more!!!!