Why I'm glad my mother called me Fifi-belle

Researching for my PhD, I remembered that I have to think of pseudonyms for my participants. I decided the best way to do this was to look at the lists of popular babies’ names for the year the people were born. Not that there was going to be anyone born in 2006 in my study, but I had a squiz at the 2006 girls’ names list anyway.

I was disturbed. The names ranged from the pretty conventional: Laura Emily, Jessica sort of names to the just completely wrong and strange names. Or maybe the names themselves weren’t too weird, but you just know what primary school will be like for the poor kids. Like Angelina. Nice name, bad celebrity associations. Tia. Great, but she will be called Tia Maria forever.

Jordan. Will the other kids think of the Middle Eastern nation, or she of the giant boobies? Makayla. What the???? Isn’t that meant to be Michaela??? I can understand that maybe the odd bogan floozie would get the spelling wrong, but how have so many people made that mistake? Ditto Georgia (high up the list) and her ‘wrong side of the tracks’ sister, Jorja. Unless Jorja is from a South American family and has a brother called Jorge. And then there’s the Madison/Maddison dilemma.

Mackenzie. How girlie, not. It sounds like a company that would sell clothing in saddleries along with Akubra hats, Drizabones and Blunnies. Charli: makes me think it should be in the middle of a long series of names that starts with Eponee-Ray and has Darlene in there somewhere, along with Tayla, which was mid-way down the list. Joria? I have actually never heard of that name. I hope its ethnic and therefore an actual name, somewhere. Hmmm. Ditto Taya. Wasn’t that the name of the geeky girl in Clueless?

Sienna is so high on the list. Why? Her dress sense isn’t that great guys!
I think the office of Births, Deaths Marriages (and Gender Re-assignment registrations in WA) really needs to have a section where mothers who want to inflict names like Jordan on their kids need to provide a well argued justification, (if this is even possible) and otherwise be politely asked to re-think their decision.

Starting, obviously, by back dating this rule to 1982.